


Sollux => Pretend to troll the Jade human.

by leijonalicious (rockkcityboy)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (probably), Canon Compliant, Gen, Missing Scene, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23496799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockkcityboy/pseuds/leijonalicious
Summary: Sollux said he wasn't going to pester the humans, yet Jade has his username and she counted all twelve trolls. Clearly, the only way to deal with this discrepancy was to write a potential interaction they may have had. Certain things may not match canon exactly, the timeline is too confusing for me to be sure. Anyway, here's a taste of what you're in for:GG: ugh!GG: yknow, im starting to get sick of blocking you guys!TA: thats faiir.TA: were ba2iically all iin2ufferable.
Relationships: Sollux Captor & Jade Harley
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	Sollux => Pretend to troll the Jade human.

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 17:02 --  
TA: bleh.  
GG: oh nooooo.  
TA: thii2 ii2 2o 2tupiid.  
TA: iit2 probably our wor2t iidea yet and that2 really fuckiing 2ayiing 2omethiing.  
GG: ugh!  
GG: yknow, im starting to get sick of blocking you guys!  
TA: thats faiir.  
TA: were ba2iically all iin2ufferable.  
GG: huh?  
TA: ii dont even want two be doiing thii2.  
TA: nothiing we 2ay ii2 goiing two change anythiing.  
TA: youre all ju2t de2tiined two totally fuck our 2hiit up and that2 really all there ii2 to 2ay on the matter.  
GG: does it help that we dont really want to?  
GG: okay sometimes i want to, but only when one of you are being particularly irritating!!!  
TA: hehe.  
TA: ii want two fuck our 2hiit up 2ometiime2 two.  
TA: but apparently the uniiver2e ha2 a22iigned that job two you.  
TA: but becau2e we are all ba2iically the wor2t, no one can accept that.  
GG: do they think trolling us is going to… help?  
TA: yeah, ii gue22 2o.  
TA: mo2tly iit2 ju2t that kk2 mad and no one el2e ha2 any iidea what two do 2o we ju2t keep lii2teniing to hiim.  
GG: well i gotta say mister troll.  
GG: you arent doing a very good job at trolling me!  
GG: but you are doing a very good job of not making me angry which is a nice change to how these encounters usually go.  
TA: jeez how far back diid tho2e iidiiot2 go?  
TA: ii thought ii was overdoiing iit by jumpiing back a couple months.  
GG: do you mean how long have they been trolling me?  
GG: it’s been going on for years.  
TA: yiike2.  
TA: iid tell them two not but iif theyre gonna do iit then theyre gonna do iit.  
TA: iitd probably be me giiviing them the iidea.  
GG: how would you give them the idea to do something they already did?  
TA: oh, right, you guys dont get tiime 2tuff yet.  
TA: ba2iically, we can talk two you at any poiint on your tiimeliine becau2e we arent iin your tiimeliine.  
TA: iit2 only through 2ome bull2hiit you probably wont beliieve that we can talk two you at all.  
GG: would shenanigans cover it?  
TA: ye2. 2henaniigan2 would perfectly cover iit.  
GG: well, i suppose that makes some sense.  
GG: and i guess i will listen since you seem quite sick of this yourself :B  
GG: how many of you guys are there anyway?  
TA: twelve.  
TA: ii think youll mo2tly have heard from kk, but iim not really keeping track.  
TA: plu2 we only just got 2tarted on my end, 2o who know2 how iit2 goiing to end up.  
GG: is kk the shouty one with the gray text?  
TA: yeah, that2 hiim.  
TA: hold on hes blu2hiing really hard about 2omethiing, ii gotta go fiind out what he diid thii2 tiime.  
GG: okay! im just going to talk to myself a little bit while youre gone.  
GG: honestly i wouldnt mind the trolling so much if one of you would just explain why its happening?  
GG: everyones been so hostile until you, and even then youve only explained some stuff!  
GG: its just that being yelled at by a whole bunch of mysterious people who somehow get around my blocks all the time is quite upsetting sometimes and im not very fond of it.  
GG: but maybe when you get back youll explain somethings.  
GG: and since i have decided to believe you about the time stuff i suppose asking you to tell them to be nicer wont do much good since i already know some of them will be very nasty.  
GG: and other ones will try to be mean but will mostly just be a little bit annoying.  
GG: most of you arent very good at this trolling business.  
TA: yeah thii2 ii2 really not mo2t of our u2ual 2cene.  
TA: iim sure ag ii2 having a great tiime wiith iit and pretty much all ed ever doe2 ii2 hara22 people onliine.  
TA: kk ii2 ju2t loud, and eq al2o pretty much only hara22e2 people onliine two.  
GG: i think i know a couple of those?  
TA: but two an2wer the que2tiion2 you probably care about a lot more, ba2iically everythiing that could go wrong went wrong and iits your fault.  
TA: except not really.  
TA: becau2e ii dont 2ee how you couldve avoiided iit and al2o 2toppiing you would create a ma22iive paradox.  
TA: youre a pro2piit dreamer, riight?  
GG: a what?  
TA: when you go to sleep do you wake up on a really obnoxiiou2ly gold planet.  
GG: oh, yes!  
GG: is that what its called?  
TA: yeah, you and one of your friends are pro2piit dreamer2 and your other friiend2 are der2e dreamer2.  
TA: whiich hone2tly doe2nt mean a whole lot to me but iim 2ure there2 2ome biig co2miic thiing that deciide2 whiich one you are.  
GG: which one are you?  
TA: both.  
TA: two ii2 kiinda my whole 2chtiick. dont know iif youve notiiced.  
TA: how much have the clouds told you about the game?  
GG: the game?  
TA: iit wa2 called 2grub for u2 but iitll probably be 2omethiing even dumber for you.  
GG: i dont think i know anything about it…  
GG: but i guess that its going to be very important?  
TA: under2tatement of the century.  
TA: kk2 glariing at me, hold on.  
GG: okay!  
GG: i dont really get how a video game can have anything to do with weird timeline shenanigans, but i dont really think youre lying to me…  
TA: kk2 mad that iim explaiiniing thiing2.  
TA: becau2e obviiou2ly what he2 doiing ii2 2o much more rea2onable.  
TA: iim probably just goiing two 2top after thii2 conver2atiion anyway. ii dont care about trolliing you and ii probably 2houldnt tell you two much about the future.  
TA: gotta keep tiime 2henaniigan2 iintact.  
GG: i understand!  
GG: i have to keep things that the clouds tell me from my friends sometimes.  
TA: al2o no offen2e but your friiend2 just kiinda 2eem 2upremely 2tupiid and ii cant be bothered wiith that.  
TA: well the other giirl 2eems alriight but 2he also talks a lot.  
TA: iif ii have two 2ee one more wall of purple text.  
TA: just kiinda 2iittiing there expectiing me two read iit.  
TA: ii am goiing to do an acrobatiic fuckiing 2omer2ault off the deep end and ii diidnt really plan an end to thii2 2entence but yeah.  
GG: oh man.  
GG: you and dave would really get along!  
TA: not iintere2ted.  
GG: hee hee, whatever you say!  
GG: but i have a feeling this is going to work out somehow.  
GG: even if were supposed to mess things up, i think itll be okay in the end.  
GG: maybe well even all meet up and someday be able to laugh about this :D  
TA: yeah, well.  
TA: for everyone2 2ake, ii hope youre riight.  
TA: ba2ed on everything ii know, you probably arent.  
TA: but that would be niice.  
TA: iim goiing two go now.  
TA: apparently no one know2 how to fuckiing u2e a computer, 2o my a22ii2tance ii2 requiired yet agaiin.  
GG: wait!  
GG: before you go, can you tell me your name?  
GG: all these usernames are just kinda blending together and calling people their color feels rather silly.  
TA: iit2 2ollux.  
GG: thats a nice name!  
GG: im jade :D  
TA: ii know.  
TA: hope ii 2ee you around 2ometiime jd.   
\-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 17:28 --

**Author's Note:**

> So, is it just me that gets bothered by the fact Sollux canonically references human culture? What's up with him specifically that gives him all these tiny little things that don't quite match up with the rest of canon?  
> I'm considering doing a follow-up for this where they do get to meet up on Earth C and reminisce, but we'll see how I feel.  
> Please comment and/or leave kudos!!


End file.
